Searching for Faith
October 6th, 2009I have a certain level of arrogance when it comes to running. But before I go too far, trust me when I say it has nothing to do with speed. It has more to do with taking things for granted and in the process giving the wrong impression to others.
For example, I am running the St. Jude Marathon this December (just in case you didn’t know and randomly found this website.) Out of our team of fifteen runners, seven of us are doing the full marathon and for four of them it is their first. And it is awesome accomplishment just to sign up for a marathon much less to train for and finish one. This will be something they remember forever. And right now, most of them are probably stressed out about how they are going to find the strength to run 26.2 miles, how they are going to handle the pain, how they are going to break through the “Wall”.
But for me, I have already learned all of those things. I have been to the cave where the bear lives who jumps on peoples backs, and he is presently mounted and standing in my foyer. I know what it feels like. And I know I am stronger than it. Short of a compound fracture with multiple bones penetrating my skin, I will not stop until I cross the finish line. So the fear of not finishing has lost its motivating force.
This is one of the main reasons I am making an attempt at qualifying for the Boston Marathon. And right now, I don’t have much faith in my chances of success. Maybe it has been the weather. Maybe the stress at work. Maybe the hectic lives Christine & I live. Or maybe I have just bitten off way more than I could chew, and I am choking on it. Whatever it is, I don’t like it.
It is ironic that our team name is Running on Faith and I can’t find any. Of course, the faith that Christine and I talk about for the team is our faith in God. So maybe that is what I need to fall back on. Whether I find the faith in myself to qualify for Boston will remain uncertain until December 5th (or later.) But as long as I have my faith in God, I will be fine. And that is another lesson learned that has gotten me through many “Walls.”

