Running on Faith

Normally one of the keys to accomplishing a goal is staying focused.  Right now, with the advice of Hardcore and Mr Xctmnt, I have decided to lose all focus about qualifying for Boston.  Because I have figured out that with every run and every workout I do,  I evaluate it compared to what I need for Boston.  And for most of my workouts, they are not cutting.

What is happening is that my running has become a job with no enjoyment at all.  And that is not what this marathon should be about.  This should be about raising money for St. Jude, enjoying the training with my team mates, and just working towards a good race.

Now please don’t get the wrong impression.  I am not going to go curl up on the couch with a half gallon of Rocky Road ice cream and watch a House marathon on T.V.  I am going to continue training the exact same plan that has been kicking my butt for the past 12 weeks.  Because it is only a good training plan with the goal of running a fast marathon.  And whether that “fast” is good enough to qualify for Boston or not remains to be seen.

So I will take out my contacts, let my eyes lose all focus and just run the workouts to the best of my ability.  And whatever happens on December 5th happens.  I will worry about it then.

I skipped my workout today.  I was supposed to run for 30 to 40 minutes, but I didn’t.  I just skipped it.  For those who really know me, especially my wife, Christine, they know I never skip a workout.  I may have to run at 2:00 in the morning or in a thunderstorm or at noon when it is 100 degrees outside, but somehow I will find a way to workout.  But tonight, I didn’t even try.  I just skipped it.

I did work out the past three days.  And two of those days were hard interval type workouts.  But every time I would have to accelerate during my run I had the feeling similar to when you are running out of the ocean when you thought you saw a shark.  For the first few steps the water is fighting you as the panic increases until you finally break through and get up to speed.  And with several intervals like this during each workout, the feeling was multiplied.

Every morning I get out of bed and hobble to the bathroom to get dressed.  My legs hurt.  My feet hurt.  And I am usually tired.  It has unfortunately become a routine that I have gotten used to.

After my run last night, I was talking to my Dad.  He asked why I was running so much and I replied, “Because I want to qualify for Boston.”  Ironically, my boss asked me this morning why I was so serious when I run, and I replied, “Because I want to qualify for Boston.”  (He has passed me on road by my house in his truck while I was in the middle of one of my intervals and I refused to stop and chat.)  Even though my response to both of them was the same, it meant something different.

My boss knows I like to run and do triathlons.  He knows I am crazy.  He knows I will push my body and limp to work the next day.  But he doesn’t quite understand any of the details.

My dad, on the other hand, knows it all.  He is one of the few people who can remember what I used to be able to do as well as understanding what it takes to accomplish my goal.  He was there every step of the way when I was running in my youth.  So when I mentioned Boston, he quickly related things to what I could do back then.  And back then was 25 years ago.

My body, the 2009 42 year old model, is tired.  Of course it didn’t help matters that today I spent two hours in a dentist’s chair with a tooth that wasn’t quite deadened enough when he started drilling.  But that is another story.  For now, I am still stuck with having skipped my workout.  But it has made me step back and think.

Every year since 2005, I have been raising money for one charity or another.  I have enjoyed that part of my racing because it provides another sense of purpose to my activities.  And over the years, I have had some incredible friends donate a lot of money in support of my charity.  But so far this year, it appears that many are “skipping a workout.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining at all.  Many of them have given more than their share and with the current economic turmoil things are different this year.  Things are different in the world right now and many have other obligations to take care of.  Plus, they may be tired as well.

But then I remembered a show I saw this weekend about a patient at St. Jude.  The two year old little boy had a tumor on his brain that they were able to shrink with chemo……for a while.  His dad knew that time was short, but he said that while his son was smiling then he would smile too.  His son died about 6 months after the clip was taped.

Tired or not, I cannot stop.  I have to push on.  I have to keep going.  I have to keep asking people to donate.  Because if I don’t care enough to give my all, then why should I ask anyone else to.  So there won’t be too many skipped workouts…..at least not on my part.

(P.S.  My workout plan called this a recovery week.  It said to take an extra day off if needed.  Hee hee hee.  It wasn’t actually a skipped workout after all.)

Hello World.

This weekend a possible Plan B developed.  For those who don’t know, my Plan A is to qualify for the Boston Marathon this December while running the St. Jude Marathon.  This would require me to run a 3:20:59 marathon or better which is an average of 7:40 per mile for the entire 26.2 miles!

Now normally I am not a Plan B type of person.  I have Plan A and that better work.  And similar to a square peg in a round hole, if it doesn’t work at first then I get a bigger hammer.  Plan A is the plan.  Period.  So why am I considering a Plan B with 18 weeks to go before the race?  Two reasons.

First, I have had a less than stellar week of running.  I may or may not talk about it on my Timbeaux site.  I am still pretty aggravated about it, but it is what it is.  And I can’t go back and do it again anyway.  But it did open my eyes to the difficulty of what I am trying to accomplish.

Second, my wife, Christine (Hardcore) may be doing another marathon.  And any race of that length I like to share the experience with her.  It is always much more fun to look back at a race and laugh (or cry) about something we both saw on the course or experienced.

So the possible Plan B is the Mardi Gras Marathon in New Orleans.  It is about 3 months after the St. Jude marathon, so I will have plenty of time to recover, regroup, and ramp up my training for another attempt at Boston.  The biggest question now is whether it is a Boston qualifying race or not.  Still working on that one.

By the way, if you haven’t donated to one of the incredible people on this team then do it now!

I was sitting here this afternoon searching for a 2009 calendar to make some notes on.  In my quest to qualify for the Boston Marathon, I am going to get a professional coach to make me a custom training plan for the St. Jude Marathon.  This is mainly to prevent me from getting injured and to give me the best shot I can at qualifying.  As I have mentioned before (either here or at my Timbeaux site), if I qualify for Boston I plan on raising money for Habitat for Hope (the charity I raised money for during my 2007 Ironman Triathlon).  In order for this coach to make a plan, he will need to know what races I plan on doing and my rough family schedule to plan work outs around.  A lot of my focus right now is on qualifying for Boston.

So I am searching my office for a calendar, and I found one.  It was a 2009 St. Jude Children’s Hospital calendar that I received at the race last year.  And it was sort of a like a quick slap in the face or a bucket of ice water thrown on me.  I have been looking past the St. Jude Marathon and making plans for the future.  But that is a stupid concept.  You only have right now.  Nothing else is guaranteed.

As I flipped through the calendar, they had patients of St. Jude that ranged from 2 years old to 17 years old.  And every one of them touched my heart.  The worst part is something I learned when working with Habitat for Hope.  More than likely, one or more of the children in the calendar is probably not with us anymore.  They have passed on to a much better place than we live in.

We have less than 6 months before the marathon, and I have barely lifted a finger to start raising money for St. Jude.  Well, that is going to change.  I will continue working on my plan to qualify for Boston, but it will be secondary to my trying to help these children.  If God wants me to do qualify, then I will.

So right now, Christine and I are going to donate to each one of the team members.  And I ask that you do the same.  Just follow this link and click on any team member you wish.  And donate whatever you can.

And remember: you only have right now.  Nothing else is guaranteed.

I am Timbeaux, hear me roar!  Actually I think the song said woman, but I am not a woman so I changed it.  You may have noticed a trend amongst the posters of this blog that are kind of touchy feely: puppy dogs, squirrels playing, birds chirping, pink thongs.  Actually I think there was something else in that post like a birthday or something, but all I remember is the pink thong.  If you are expecting more touchy feely, stop reading.  I am sure I will get into that mode later when I really get into the fundraising for St. Jude.  It is difficult not to break down and cry when reading about those children.  But for now, I have a steep bill to pay.

Through my own choice, I have decided to try to qualify for Boston at the St. Jude Marathon.  And with that choice comes a bill that can only be settled with blood, sweat and tears.  So for the time being, there will be no time to stop and smell the roses.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have seen first hand how hard Christine and Marcelo have worked for their running.  They have each shed plenty of sweat and tears.  And if you had been fortunate enough to be along side Christine like I was last year for the marathon, you know she paid her bill in full.  And then some.

But right now, they can take time to enjoy their runs and the environment around them.  I, on the other hand, am constantly fighting the urge to stop or slow down.  But I can’t.  I have to push and find some speed somewhere even if it hurts.  And that is why I adopted the pain don’t hurt mentality (see my other blog).

I ran a 10K this afternoon at home.  It was warm/hot and I was exhausted from sleeping very little last night.  As usual, I started off a little too slow and then pushed.  Every time I hit a U-turn, I wanted to stop and walk.  Every time I got thirsty, I wanted to stop, walk and take a drink.  Every time I felt like I was pushing too hard, I wanted to ease up and catch my breath.  But I never walked.  I drank while I ran which caused me to bust my lip on the water bottle.  And I finished my 10K at about a 7:47 minutes per mile pace.

What does that pace mean in the grand scheme of things?  It is about 9 seconds slower than the pace I will have to run the entire 26.2 miles in December.  It means I am not even close yet.  But it also means I am getting better.

So send me some motivation.  Click the link on the top right corner of the website that says, “Donate Now St. Jude Children’s Hospital” and make a donation.  The next time I run, your name will pop in my head when I am struggling and that may make a difference in my run.  Just like it would make a difference to the children at St. Judes.